Affection Or Sex

Which one would you prefer? I'm an affectionate person. A very touchy, feely, lovey dovey type of person. If I could have it my way I would rather be affectionate and under my man than to have sex all the fucking time. Cuz to me that shit gets old as hell. I don't know about yall but it's just crazy how men call sex "affection" when they know damn well that shit ain't true. Where are the men at that like to hold their woman, hold their hand, or just cuddle up? I don't get what's going on in relationships these days. It's just completely fucked up how men think. Some women actually agree that sex can be affection. Which I do somewhat understand their point cuz it can be passionate and affectionate. But it's not the same as getting affection without sex. Let me tell you us women love the hell out of sex and fucking our men. Don't get me wrong! But that shit gets old like anything else. Relationships nowadays truely suck like hell cuz dudes don't know how to treat their women and it's sad. Sometimes I wanna watch a movie and just lay in my man's arms. But it always leads to having sex. That's completely fucked up as shit to me. Us ladies may just wanna enjoy a man's company with some hugs and kisses. You know what I'm saying? It's just nerveracking that we can't find decent men that can give us affection without sex. I just think that men's minds are one tracked and they don't know the difference. They actually think that fucking sex and affection are the same shit. And I can't stand it! Where are the handsome, sexy, men at? You know the ones that's got some hood in them that know how to give us ladies some fucking affection without having to fucking have sex at? Sex is oh so good from time to time but Damn! WOW, I have never been so goddamn unraveled and unnerved in my entire life. Is it just me that feels this fucking way? I love to be held, kissed, and loved in other ways besides just in the sexual sense, or aspect. Maybe it's just me that feels like this. But then again maybe not. Just had to get this shit off of my damn chest for real cuz I'm just confused at what men are truely thinking when it comes to us ladies, or women nowadays. Can yall believe this nonsense? Shit on this subject here all I can say is that's dat bullshit in my book! Lmao!

Being Impatient

Oh, Wow. I Still Can't Believe I'm Still Like This After All This Time. But, I'm A Very Impatient Person. I Hate It. But, Sometimes I Love It To Cuz Then People Know That I'm Not Bullshitting When I Want Something. I Hate Fucking Waiting On Shit. It's Just That When I Want Something I Want It Right Then And There. Same Thing When It Comes To Men. If I Want A Man To Be A Certain Way Or To Change. Something Like That I Get Very Impatient With All That Shit And Move On To Something Else. It's Just Strange That I Still Have That In Me. I've Been This Way Since I Was 16. That's When It Started Creeping In. People Say That It's Being Bitchy Cuz Of How I Say It. But, I Say Things When I'm Impatient In Mean Ways Cuz It's Funny And I'm Kidding At Times With It Also. Yall Know By Now That I'm A Very Abrassive Woman. And I Feel That I Want Or Deserve Certain Things In Life. And Well That I Should Feel Like That. And I Think In A Way That Every Woman Feels The Exact Same Way That I Do. Shit, I Derseve The Best. And Don't Take This The Wrong Way. But, I Don't Mean In A Materialistic Way When I Say That. Cuz, I Don't Care About Material Things Cuz That Shit Comes And Goes. Just Don't Give A Fuck About All That. But Anyway, I Just Think That People Can't Tell When I'm Joking Around, Or Being Serious. Sometimes It's Funny To See The Looks On People's Faces Cuz They Can't Tell. But, Then I Bust Out Laughing. Then They Know That I'm Kidding. I Wish That I Wasn't Like That Cuz I Know That Now That I'm On My Grown Woman About It. There's No Need To Be Impatient About Anything In Life. Cuz, Eventually I Know I'm Gonna Get What I Want And Get My Way Anyway. But, Yall Already Know That I'm Just Irresitable Like That. LOL. But, You Gotta Love Me Though.

Hurt Beyond Measure

Shit, I Thought That Today Was Gonna Be A Different Day. But, I Guess I Was Wrong. Got My About To Be 4 Year Old Son's Pictures Today When I Got To See My Babies. And Later On After I Got To Spend Time With Them Cuz Mother's Day Is Coming Up This Weekend And All That. We Go Out And Meet Up With His Friend And All That Good Shit. And We Got Back To My House. And I Said That I Wanted To Get Something To Eat To Feel Better That I Had To Either Sleep With Him, Or Give Him Oral Sex. I'm Not That Type Of Bitch. He Got The Wrong One On That Shit There. I'm More Than Just A Quick Fuck, Or Some Shit. To Me I Mean More Than That. I'm Sorry But This Is Bullshit. If We Get Divorced I Wouldn't Give A Fuck Cuz To Me I Don't Mean Shit To Him. And It's Time To Hang It Up. I Have His Kids For God Sake, And He Has No More Respect For Me Than That. Shit, I'm Better Off On My Own. Like I Said I Need A "Real Man" In My Life. Cuz, This Is Crazy. I Know I Ain't All That But Shit I'm Better Than He's Making Me Out To Be. It Hurts Cuz I've Invested 11 Years Into This. And It Seems Like He Don't Care. But, I Got My Sons And That's All I Care About. And As Far As Him I Don't Care. He's Just My Baby Daddy And I Don't Give A Fuck. I Had 3 Cranberry And Vodkas And I Feel Pretty Good Right Now. I Really Don't Care At This Point Cuz I'm Glad I'm Alone Cuz Men Ain't Shit. Why I'm Crying Over This Shit I Don't Know. Cuz, To Tell You The Truth I Don't Give A Shit. It's Gonna Get To The Point Where I'm Not Gonna Be Able To Be Friends With Him. I Can't Wait Til Our Divorce Is Final Cuz He's Such A Piece Of Shit. Shit, I'm Done With Him I Can Do Better. Fuck It!

This Is Just Wrong...

Shit, Right Now I'm So Fucking Pissed Off And Emotionally Mad It's Not Even Funny. I Found Out That Someone I Know That's A Female Damn Near Got Beat To Death By Her Fucking Boyfriend. This Is So Crazy Cuz Us As Women Don't Need To Be Treated This Way. It's Ridiculous How Bad It Is. I Barely Can Type Or Talk About This Right Now. I Hope She Presses Charges On Him. Cuz, He's A Piece Of Shit That Needs To Rot In Hell With Gasoline Draws On. Shit, He's Got A Spot Already Waiting On Him Anyway. And What Scares Me Is That She Says, "She Loves Him". Oh No, She Can't Be Serious. He Beat Her Like She Was A Fucking Man. Let Me Get My Hands On That Asshole I'll Show Him Who The Real Nigga Is, And Who The Real Bitch Is. And I'm Telling You Now That The Bitch Ain't Me. I Can't Stop Crying Cuz I've Been There And There's NO EXCUSE For What He Did. None At All. I Feel So Bad For Her Cuz I Feel Like She's Just Gonna Have Him Locked Up Cuz She's Just Upset Right Now. And Then When She Calms Down Drop The Charges And Let Him Out So He Can Do It Again. And Shit, He's Gonna Do Worse If She Doesn't Do Something About It. They Got Into An Arguemnet Which I Understand. But It Didn't Have To Go That Far Though. And From What I Know They Are Gonna Keep Her At The Hospital. If She Doesn't Press Charges At Least Put A Restraining Order On Him To Keep Him From Her. With All This Going On It Makes Me Fear To Be In A Relationship. If That's What Females Think Love Is. Ladies, If A Man Hits Or Beats You Get Out Now. A Man Doesn't Love You If He Puts His Hands On You. I Don't Care What Anybody Says. And If You Think That's What Love Is Shit, You Have Major Fucking Issues. Cuz, Ladies We All Know Better Shit Than That. Don't We?

Idea Of Love

Why Is It That I Always Look At Other People's Relationships And Feel Jealous? Is It Cuz I Want The Same Thing? Or Am I Just Mad That I'm Alone? Then Again It May Be All Of The Above. Some People Say That I Love The Idea Of Being In Love That's How Come I Get Hurt So Easily. It's Just That I Love Affection, Being Under My Man, Playfully Being With Him, And Talking Seductively To Him. Letting Him Know That I Love Attention, And That He's Also The Center Of My Attention As Well. But, I Can't Understand Why Guys Don't Appreciate Those Types Of Things. I Know Yall Are Gonna Think This Is Strange. But, I Would Rather Be Under My Man, Cuddling Up With Him Than Have Sex. Don't Get Me Wrong, I Love Sex It's Just That's Not The Only Damn Thing That I Want To Do When I Get With My Man. Spending Quality Time Without Fucking Is A Good Thing. I Can't Even Find Guys That Even Love Kissing, And Holding Hands Anymore Without It Leading To The Bedroom. I Don't Understand That Shit. I Love To Be Caressed, Held, Kissed, And All That Good Shit. But, Dudes Just Don't Seem To Be Into That Shit Anymore. That's Why I Want Someone That's Gonna Come Into My Life That's Gonna Give Me Those Things. Cuz, When I Had To Close Myself Off And Change How I Was To Be With Who I Was With. I Realized It Wasn't Worth It. I Felt Like I Couldn't Be Me Around Him Anymore. And I Missed That About Myself, As A Result I Lost Myself In All Of That. Shit, One Thing I Hate About Myself Is That I Catch Feelings Really Fast. But, It's Not Like That Anymore Cuz I Got My Guard Up Major. And People Think That I'm A Complete Bitch When I Give Advice, Cuz I'm Up Front And To The Point. Shit, People Say That It's Cuz I Don't Have A Man. At Least Not Yet Though. But Trust Me, I Know That Shit Ain't Even True. I Just Don't Let Niggaz Fuck Me Anymore. I've Grown Up, And Wised Up Now. But, Anyway Why Do I Feel That Way That I Do? When I Fall In Love, Am I Truely In Love? Or Do I Just Love The Idea Of Being In Love?

Jocking Niggaz

Is It Me? Or Are Niggaz Just Mean As Hell? I Just Had To Tell A Somewhat Homegirl Of Mine That The Dude That She Wants Doesn't Want Her. And She Started Crying Cuz She Really Wants To Be With Him. She's Like, "Well I Call Him, Leave Messages, And Email Him And He Won't Respond To Me At All. And I Don't Know What's Going On. In This Strange Turn Of Events She Says That She Has Asked Her Brother And Her Cousin For Advice. And It's Like They Didn't Want To Hurt Her Feelings. I Just Told Her The Truth Cuz They Wouldn't. I'm Like He Don't Want You So Move On With Your Life. There Are Too Many Fucking Niggaz In This World For You To Be Going Through This Bullshit. Niggaz Come And Go Every Mutha Fucking Day. You Better Wise The Fuck Up And Quickly. She Was Like,"Well, What If The Dude That You Are So Crazy About Doesn't Want You?" Well, I Was Like, "It Would Hurt, And I Would Be Hurt For A While But Then I Would Have To Move On With My Fucking Life. He May Be Fine And Everything But It Ain't Worth All This Shit. Cuz, I'm Not About To Sweat That Nigga, Shit Niggaz Sweat My Ass, Ya Feel Me. Chasing A Nigga Is Not In My Vocabulary Or In My Nature First Off. Believe Me When I Tell You It Ain't Worth What You're Going Through. Leave His Ass Alone And Don't Call His Bitch Ass For About A Week. And If He Don't Pay Attention To You Then Fuck It. Cry Two Tears In A Bucket, Fuck It. Cuz, If You Are On Your Grown Woman About Shit, And He Doesn't See You For The Real Woman That You Are Then That's His Goddamn, Fucking Loss Then. Fuck That Bitch Ass Nigga If He's Not Gonna Be Honest And Tell You How He Really Feels. Shit, At Least If He Don't Wanna Talk To You. He Could Tell Your Ass In An Email Though. But, That's Also Being A Punk Ass, Bitch Ass Nigga Cuz He's Not Telling You Face To Face, Or Being Straight To The Point. Cuz, He's A Wannabe Rapper, That Don't Make Him About Shit. Except Another Nigga With A Fucking Job, Trying To Act Fucking Bougie With His Shit. But, Like I Said Fuck That Nigga. It's All Good, Cuz You Will Find Somebody Special When It Comes Down To It. Niggaz Ain't Shit But Hoes And Tricks At The End Of The Day When You Think About It. It's Bullshit, Cuz He's Missing Out On Someone Special. But, Don't Niggaz Fucking Always. You Said That When He Comes Around You, Which Isn't That Much He's A Sweetheart. He Buys You Things, Treats You Good. But, When He's Not Around You He Treats You Like Shit. Guess What? He's Playing (CMC), Which Is The Game Called,"Cat, Mouse, And Confusion". Oh Hell Naw Like, I Said Their Are Too Many Niggaz In This World To Just Be Focusing On One In Life Man. If You Can't Get The Goddamn One You Want Find Another One. Cuz, I Know There Is A Fucking, Goddamn Me Shortage. But, Goddamn It Ain't The End Of The Fucking World. When Or If He Blows Up It's Gonna Be Worse Than This. So, Do You Really Wanna Fuck With His Triffling, Immature, Sorry Ass? Cuz, That's What He Is. I'm Not In A Relationship, Thank God. Cuz, Niggaz Ain't About Shit Nowadays. I Want A Real Man To Love Me, Make Me Happy, Show Me Things That I've Never Seen Before. You Know? I Went Through Trying To Keep The Nigga That I Was With And It Didn't Work At All. It Took Me A While To Realize That It Wasn't Gonna Work No Matter How Hard I Tried. So, Now I'm Alone. Hopefully, I'll Find The Right Man That Will Give Me Everything I Need And I Can Give The Same To Him In The Future. I Just Told Her To Fucking Forget His Wannabe Jay-Z Acting Ass And Move On With Her Life And Get Herself Together. There Will Be Other Niggaz, And Don't Play The Game Of "Cat, Mouse, And Confusion"...

Purity And Virginity

When Is It Too Young To Have Sex? A Girl Or Woman's Virginity Is Like The Most Sacred Thing That You Can Have In Life. Well, I'm Having A Slight Dilema With A Friend Of Mine's Lil Cousin. She's 14, Looks Like She's 21, Been With Her Boyfriend That's 18 For About 3 Months. And She Feels That She's Ready To Be Intimate With Him. And I Was Like WTF? Cuz, I Couldn't Understand Why In The Hell Is She Thinking About Sex At Her Age. We Both Talked To Her And Tried To Talk Her Out Of It. She Swears That She Loves Him, But I Truely Think That She Doesn't Know What The Blazing Hot Fuck Love Is. But, I Understand How She Feels Cuz She Has Friends That Are Older Than Her As Well. And Peer Pressure Is Kicking In. Her Emotions And Hormones Are All Over The Place Also. Two Of Her Friends Have Babies Already. And They Are 14, And 16. Her Relationship With Him Is Ok I Guess. But, The Age Difference Kind Of Concerns Me Though. I Truely Believe That She's In Deep Like When It Comes To Him. Like I Told Her, Once Your Virginty Is Gone There Is No Turning Back. You Are No Longer Pure In God, Or A Man's Eyes. Just Take Your Time. Wear A Purity Ring, Which She Does, Along With A Cross On The Same Chain. See, When I Found Out That She Was A Christian Girl That's When I Knew That She Needed "The Talk" From Us. And She Was Like, Well I'm Worried Cuz It's Goes Against God And My Morals. Plus, I'm Also Young But I Love Him. And I Told Her To Wait Cuz If He's Not Pressuring You. Shit, You Might Have A Good Guy. But, If He Is Pressuring You Fuck Him And Just Focus On Your Studies At School. Niggaz Will Always Be The Fuck Around, Just Waiting On Some Easy Ass To Come Through. Make Sure That You Guys Are On The Same Page Before Anything Pops Off. Shit, It Don't Need To Be Popping Off At Your Age Anyway Truely. And We Laughed About It. But, I Say Wait Til The Time Is Right For You. Make Sure You And The Nigga That You're With Respects You, And That He Can Wait Until You Are Ready. And That's The Most Important Thing At The End Of The Day...

Lines And Game

Alright. Let Me Tell Yall Females Something. Yall Can't Be Listening To These Young Ass Niggaz When It Comes To The Lines And Game That They Be Using. Come On Now Yall Need To Be Fucking Smarter Than That. By A Certain Age You Should Know That What All These Niggaz Be Saying To Yall Is A Bunch Of Goddamn Lies. These Niggaz Will Run Any Line Or Any Type Of Game That They Think Works For Them Just To Get Into Your Fucking Underwear. Trust Me When I Tell You Niggaz Are Only Out For One Thing, And That's Ass. And I'm Sure If You Give In To Them And Let Them Have The Ass. In The Long Run You Feel Like A Complete Ass Too. Niggaz Will Fuck You, Lie To You, And Play You Too. But, Only If You Let These Sorry Mutha Fucking Niggaz Do It To You. I Say If You Let Them Do It You Get What The Fuck You Deserve. Like I've Said Before Keep Your Head On Straight You Will Get Further. Don't Be Listening To This Tired, Lame Brain, Fucking Niggaz When It Comes To Their Tired, Fucked Up, Lines And Game. Cuz, When It Comes Down To It You Will Be Fucked In The End Listening To These Fucking Lying Ass Niggaz. Like The, I Love You, I Only Want You, And Let's Not Forget I Want You To Have My Baby Bullshit. Man, Get The Fuck Out Of Here With That Running Game Bullshit There. Cuz Guess What? They Always Tell You That If You Get Pregnant They Ain't Going Nowhere. If You Believe That Shit And They A Young Ass Nigga That Don't Know What They Fuck They Are Talking About. Then You Get What You Deserve Once Again And You Are A Crash Test Dummy. Cuz You Trusted Their Sorry Asses With That Lame Bullshit Called, Lines And Game. What A Crash Test Dummy Is: #1. A Female That Will Crash Cuz She'll Break Down From What He's Done To Her. The Test Part Is: #2. Cuz He Wants To Test Her Out And See What Type Of Woman She Is Even If She Is A Dumb Ass. And The The Dummy Part Is: #3. Cuz She Believed His Sorry Ass And His Lies That Roll With It. Niggaz Start Out With Their Lines And Game Very Young Nowadays. They Start Out Being Very Manipluative When They Are In Their Teen Years And Shit. And Then They Become Full Of Major Bullshit When They Become Men. Baby, They Get Worse In The Long Run But Only If You Ladies Let Them. Please, Let's Become Smarter And Not Fall For All The Lies And Game That All These Sorry Ass Niggaz, Which Are Boys And Men Feed To Us? Cuz In The Long Run Ladies All We Need Is Ourselves To Make It Through Life. Fuck It, Niggaz Add To Our Success And Happiness But They Do Not Make Our Lives Complete. We Are Already Complete They Just Add To What We Already Have And What We Already Are. And That's Happy Aren't We Ladies? So, Don't Fall For The Lines And Game And You Will Be Straight. Ya Feel Me... LMAO!

Intimate Opinion

Which One Do You Prefer Sex Or Making Love? To Me, It Goes Either Way. But, If Some Men Can't Do Either Or You Are Fucking Screwed. Every Woman Loves It When Her Man Knows What He's Doing. It's Just Natural. Shit, If A Man Knows How To Take Over My Body, Baby It's On And Poppin'. Number #1 I Don't Need A Man That I Need To Fucking Give A Goddamn Instruction Manual Too Ok. That's First Off. Number #2, I Don't Want To Have To Tell Or Show A Damn Man What To Do Or How To Do It. #3 After A While You Should Know Me So Good That You Shouldn't Have To Fucking Ask Me What I Want Or Need. You Should Know Me Forwards And Fucking Goddamn Me Backwards. Shit, I'll Admit That It's Good When A Woman Takes Over Cuz Believe Me I Love Control When It Comes To That Sort Of Thing. And Ladies, Don't Be Afraid To Try New Things And Be In Control For Your Man Sometimes. Maybe He Has Had A Very Hard Day At Work, And Stressed Out So You Have To Take Care Of Him. Show Him Who Can Where The Goddamn Pants In The Fucking Relationship Besides Him Fuck It Couldn't Hurt. Shit, It Might Make Him Love You Even More In The Long Run. But, Back To The Main Subject At Hand. Now Ladies, Don't You Hate It When Men Ask You The Dumbest Ass Questions In Bed? Does It Feel Good? I Can't Stand That Shit Cuz Obviously It Does Or I Would Not Be Letting You Do A Goddamn Thing With Me At All. Don't Get Me Wrong It Maybe Wonderful As Hell Sometimes. Depends On How He Says It. But, It Gets Annoying At Times. Then When You Are Making Love This Really Aggitates The Living Fuck Out Of Me Right Here. When You Say To That Man That, "I Love You" And They Don't Say Shit Back And They Just Look At Your Mutha Fucking Ass Like You Are Crazy As Fuck. At That Point I'm Not In The Mood Anymore. Niggaz Need To Fix Themselves If They Want A Real Woman In Their Lives, Cuz We All Need Real Men These Days. Now, Don't Get Me Wrong A Woman From Time To Time Needs Her Body Worked, Knocked Around, And Roughed Up With A Good Old Fashioned Fuck Every Now And Then. But, We Also Need Love And To Be Taken Care Of Emotionally By Being Made Love To Also. Trust And Believe Ain't Nothing Better Than That And That's Real. Just Remember That...

Earning Faux Fur

Ok. Let's Break It Down For A Minute. Where Do Niggaz Get Off Thinking That We Should Just Up And Give Them Our "Faux Fur?" Hate To Tell You, But You Got To Earn That Cuz That's The Most Personal Thing That You Can Give To A Man Besides Your Heart. And These Mutha Fuckas Think That It's All Good And Shit. I'm Not The Type Cuz I Don't Get Down Like That. You Have To Earn Everything When It Comes To Me. You Have To Earn My Respect, Trust, Heart, And Then You Just Might Earn The Fucking Velvet, Or Faux Fur. It's Ain't Got Shit To Do With The Game You Put Down Cuz I Don't Go For That Shit Either. Cuz Game Recognizes Game Over Here Straight Up. Cuz, Niggaz Think We Just Owe Them Shit. So, Don't Think You Can Play Me For A Goddamn Me Fool Cuz You Want The Faux Fur Cuz It's Never Ever Gonna Happen. Get The Fuck Out Of Here With That Bullshit. It's Just Females That Are Out There Act Like That's All They Are Worth. Which Is A Piece Of Ass. And If You See Yourself That Way Then You Will Be Treated And Excepted Like That. And That's Some Real Shit For You. I Hate To Say It But It's Like Bitches Like Me Don't Even Exist No More. Maybe They Are Somewhere And They Are Just Hidden. But, It's Like I've Been Trying To Say That You Have To Let These Niggaz Know Where The Fuck You Stand Before They Run The Fuck Over You. Cuz, Trust And Believe Their Triffling Asses Will Do It. I Guess You Can Say It's In A Man's Nature To Dog A Bitch And Still Get The Faux Fur But Not Here. Sorry To Disappoint You But If You Want To Get, Or Be With Me. You Got To Respect Me Before I Even Think About Giving Your Ass Shit. Especially The Faux Fur. It's Just Ass Simple As That. You Can Play All Them Simple Ass Bitches All Day. But, I'm Not One Of Them. So, I'm Just Keeping It Real Once Again Cuz Niggaz Be Acting All Pushy And Shit Asking The Same Shit. That Annoys The Hell Out Of Me. Cuz, I'm Not That Type. Keep Asking Me When I've Already Told Your Fucking Ass NO, And I've Told You Why. You Will Get Straight Up Hung Up On Cuz I'm Not Gonna Keep Telling You The Same Shit Over And Over Again. It's A Complete Waist Of My Time. If You Are Honest, And Keep It 100% With Me In The Long Run You Just Might Earn The Faux Fur. But, Until Then Nigga Don't Ask Me For Shit... Lmao

Needy Females

Why Is It That At Times We Feel The Need To Be Needy? I Understand A Woman Wanting Love, Attention, And Affection. Every Woman Wants That. But, When It Gets To A Certain Level To Where You Are Running, Or Stalking A Nigga To The Jumping Off Point. You Are Too Much And That's Considered Being A Stupid Ass Bitch In My Book. Cuz, There's Just No Need For All Of That. In My Opinion, If One Nigga Don't Want You Then Find Someone Who Will. Don't Be Fucking Degrading Yourself, And The Rest Of Us Women That Don't Do That Kind Of Shit Look Bad. It's Not Fair To The Ones Of Us Who Don't. Desperate Ass Females Need To Stop This Bullshit Cuz It Doesn't Look Good At All. I Feel That If You Consider Yourself A Lady, That You Would Carry Yourself Like A Fucking Lady Also. Like I've Said In The Past. If A Man Wants You, Feels You, And Wants To Get With You. Trust Me, You Will Know. Cuz, He Will Let You Know. All This Throwing Yourself At Him And Shit Doesn't Fucking Work. Cuz, At The End Of The Day You Will Look Like A Whore In His Book, And A Worthless Ass Bitch In His Eyes. Which Means To Him, He's Got You Whipped And That You Are A Fucked Up Ass Excuse For A Woman Period. And Trust Me, You Don't Want The Man That You Are Intrested In To Think That Of You. Do You? Shit, I Know I Sure As Fuck Don't. LMAO. It's Just Like This Don't Show That You Will Do Anything For A Certain Man And You Don't Know What Cards He's Dealing First Off. Cuz If You Show Your Feelings And He Doesn't Return Them. You Will Look Like The Dumbest, Most Ignorant, Desperate, Needy, Insecure, Thirsty Ass Bitch Alive. I'm Not Talking About No One In Particular. Shit, I'm Just Talking About Needy Females In General. So, Ladies This Goes Out To You. If You Are A Needy Ass Bitch. Just Stop, Cuz You're Embarrassing Yourself And The Rest Of Us Women That Are REAL Ladies Out Here..

Just Unreal

Ok, This Is Crazy As Hell. Why Is It That People Just Look At Me And Want To Start Some Bullshit With Me? I Mind My Own Fucking Business I Bother No One, And It Seems To Me That If "They" Are Pissed Off They Start To Jump The Fuck On Me And Coming At Me Crooked And I Don't Play That Type Of Shit. People That Already Know Me Already Know This About Me. But, I Guess That Sometimes Females Want To Try Me. I Ain't It, I'm Telling You Straight Up. If You Have Anything Uncalled For, Or Rude To Say To Me Then Keep That Fucking Bullshit To Yourself Cuz Don't Nobody Want To Hear It Especially Me. Cuz, I Might Take It The Wrong Way And Curse Your Ass Out. Or Better Yet, Knock Your Ass Out If You Are Standing In Front Of Me. I Don't Have Time For Young Ass Females That Are Jealous Of Me Cuz I Don't Look My Age And These Bitches Are Like 16-21, Looking Like They Are 35-40. I Think It's Hilarious Cuz They Try So Hard To Be Grown By Talking Shit To Me. When They Need To Be More Concerned About What The Fuck Is Going On In Their Lives And Leave Me The Fuck Alone. It Doesn't Take Me Much For A Person To Rub Me The Wrong Way. Don't Worry About Me And What I Do. You Take Care Of You And I'll Take Care Of Me And What I Need To Do. Cuz, Either Way To Me I'm Always Gonna Keep It 100% No Matter What. But, Anyway It Just Seems To Me That These Fucking Bitches Are Not Gonna Learn Until They Get Their Ass Whooped And I Wind Up In Jail, Or Some Shit. Man, It's Just Unreal.. Lmao

Emotional

Why Is It That So Many People Become So Emotional Over Things That People Say To Them, Or About Them? To Me, I Can Understand That If You Are Sensitive To Certain Things. Yeah, You Have The Right To Be Emotional About It. But, If You Are To The Point Where You Are Emotional About Or Over Everything That People Say Or Do To You, There's A Problem. Cuz, I Used To Be The Same Fucking Way About Like Two Years Ago Or Some Type Of Bullshit Like That And I Grew The Fuck Up And Got Over That Type Way Of Feeling. Cuz, You Can't Cry About Everything Like And Overgrown Baby And Shit. Just Keeping It Real With You On That There. But, I Realized That You Need To Harden Up And Grow A Tough Ass Skin Like The Fuck I Did When It Comes To People's Shit Cuz People Will Do Shit To Try And Hurt Your Ass Just To See If You Will Break Down Or Not. And I Feel That It's Straight Up Bullshit If You Fucking Ask Me Cuz It Takes A While To Make Me Break Down. And Plus, Not Only That It Also Depends On Who The Fuck It Is That's Trying To Bullshit Me, Or Trying To Hurt Me Too. I Don't Give A Fuck Who You Are And Who You May Be. I Don't Take Bullshit, I Will Stand Up To You No Matter What Cuz I'm Not As Emotional As I Once Was. Cuz Don't Get Me Wrong About This Cuz At The End Of The Day I'm A Woman Too. And I Understand Emotions More Than Anything. But, After A While It's Just Time That You Say Cut The Fucking Bullshit, Wise Up, Get A Tougher Skin If You Have To When It Comes To Shady Fucking People And Move On With Your Life. And Don't Let People Get To You In The End...

This Is Bullshit

Yall, Right About Now I'm Mad As Hell. This Nigga (My Ex), He Knows My Son's B-Day On Saturday. My Aunt And Cousin Were Here At The House Everything Was Cool. Cuz I Told Them What We Were Doing For Him, Or So I Thought. I Call This Nigga And He Had His Nerve To Say That, "I Didn't Know You Wanted To Go". Ok, Why In The Fuck Wouldn't I Want To Go? That's My Son. He Gets On My Goddamn Fucking Nerves Doing That Shit To Me. He Said Well Yall Took Him Without Me Last Year. And I Was Like, "You Had To Work". "Shit, I Couldn't Help It That His Birthday Last Year Was On A Fucking Friday". He Got Mad About The Shit. It Pisses Me Off Cuz Just Think About It. Why Wouldn't I Want To Go When It Comes To His Birthday? That's Why I Don't Want To Be With His Sorry Ass. He Is Such A Fucking Asshole. And I Can Do So Much Better Than This, And Better Than Him. We Have Been Split For Almost A Year When June Comes And I Feel That I'm Better Off Without Him Cuz It's Just What He Does Is Too Much. And I Can't Handle It. I'm Glad That We Are No Longer Together. It's Time For Me To Completely Move On At This Point Cuz I'm Tired Of All This Shit That He Puts Me Through. And It's Not Even Fucking Worth It At All. It's Gonna Be All Good From Here On Out For Me, Cuz I'm Stronger Than What I Seem To Be And I'll Be Ok. Trust Me, I'll Make It As Long As I Have The People Most Important To Me Around...

Keeping It Real

This Is What I Feel That I Need Right Now. One Of Them Is A Real Man. To Tell You The Truth I'm Glad That I'm Where I Am In My Life Right Now Cuz I'm Doing Me. It Took Me A While To Understand What The Fuck That Meant. But, Now I Know. It's A Good Thing, Cuz Right Now I Need To Focus On Me, Get Myself Together, And Get My Head Right. I Want Someone In My Life That Doesn't Make Me Feel Controlled, Or Caged Up. That's Not Me. I Don't Want To Deal With Those Things Anymore. I Want To Be My Own Woman So I Can Express The Way That I Am. Or The Way That I Truely Feel If I Want To Without People Thinking That I'm Too Abrassive As I've Said In One Of My Last Post, Or Blog. It's Just That I'm Ready To Explore New Things, People, And Relationships Possibly.. Who Knows? I Just Want To Be Around People That Will Accept Me, And Let Me Be Me. Love Me For Me, Don't Try To Change Me. Take Me As I Am.. Cuz, I Don't Feel That I Should Watch What I Say, Or Do Around Anyone. To Me That Makes Me Feel That I'm Not Being Me, And That I Should Have To Close Myself Up Just Because People Don't Like Certain Things That I Do, Or Say. So I Just Shut Myself Down. And That's Not Fair. Um, I Feel That If I Continue Doing These Things I Will Eventually Loose Myself In The Shuffle, Or In The Long Run. So, Like I Said No More Drama In My Life For '09 I Plan To Stay Drama Free And Hopefully Continue To Be Happy With The 2 Friends, And The Family That I Have Cuz You Only Get One Family, And One Life. So, Do As I'm About To Which Is Enjoy Life And Start Living It..

It's Crazy...

Oh Wow, It's Just Weird That People See Me In So Many Ways. Some Are Good, And Some Are Bad. Which, I Expected. It's Just That When I Have Something To Say, I Say It. Just Like On The Phone Today Something That I Wanted Done Didn't Get Done Like I Wanted And I Spazed Out. Maybe That Was Also Cuz I Didn't Go To Sleep At All Last Night. I Should Had But I Didn't. I Went Out, Had Some Drinks, Came Home, Watched A Movie, And Stayed Up The Rest Of The Night. I Just Don't Know If I'm As Bad As Some People Think. In My Opinion, I'm A Very Sweet Person. And The People I Talk To Say That I'm Only That Way To Guys. And That's A Straight Up Fucking Lie Cuz I'm Nice To Females Too. But, It's Just That I've Had Some Fucked Up Ass Experiences With Women So I Don't Hang Around Them Much. But I Feel That Being Honest Is The Best Thing To Do In Certain Situations. If You Like A Person That Will Lie To You And Not Let You Know The Real Shit, And What's Really On Point Then They Asses Is Wrong. But, In A Way It's Good Too Sometimes Cuz You Can Always Truely Find Out Who Really Has Your Back And Who Don't.. Eventhough, The Old Saying Goes, "Keep Your Friends Close", "And Your Enemies Closer".. That Works For Some People, But Not Me Cuz That Shit Gets Old Too... LMAO.. But, I'm Learning Different Things As I Go So Bare With Me.. Cuz, I Have A Feeling That This Shit Is Gonna Take A While..

Men Approaching Us Women

Oh Lawd.. What's Really Going On? A Friend Of Mine Said That A Dude That Tried To Come Onto Her Approched Her By Saying, "Hey Bitch".. And I Was Like, "What?" Cuz I Mean If That Was Me And Were Calling Yourself Trying To Holla At Me You Ain't Getting No Type Of Love What So Ever.. I Don't Care How Sexy Your Ass Is Straight Up. That's Like Saying, "Excuse Me, Hoe", Or "Come Here" With A Fucked Up Ass Attitude. But, If A Dude Came Up To Me And Said That Shit It's Gonna Be On And Poppin' Like, "Chris Brown" In This Mutha Fucker Cuz I Don't Play That Shit What So Ever. But, If He Said "What's Up, Shawty?" I Would Probably Say Something To Him But It Just Depends On How He Said It Though. It's Just That Men Are So Fucking Disrespectful It Just Gets On My Fucking Goddamn Me Nerves.. I Just Feel That Men Should Come Correct To Women Period. But If You Answer To Shit That I Described Then You Must Be What They Call You Flat Out Then. I Don't Care Cuz If A Nigga Came Up To Me And Said Something To Me Like That They Would Get Straight Up Punched In The Fucking Mouth. No Questions Asked On That On Right There. LMAO. It's Just A Shame That Niggas Lines In This Day In Time Are So Fucked Up And Think That Shit Is Going To Catch A Bitch.. Niggas Need To Check Themselves On That Bullshit Cuz That Shit Might Get A Little Girl, But It Ain't Gonna Get A Woman... Think About It..

I Don't Care

Shit, At This Point People I'm Just Sick Of People And Their Shit. It's To The Point Where People Are Saying Shit And Straight Up Tearing Me Down. And I Don't Know Which Way Is Up Anymore. One Minute You Are Happy As Hell And All It Takes Is One Person To Fuck Up Your Whole Entire Fucking Day. I Was Good Up Til' Last Night. Me And My Ex Talked And Got Into It Again. That's Why I Say I Can't Be Around Him.. We Are Cool As Friends, Going Out Together From Time To Time And Shit. But, Fuck We Are Straight Up TOXIC To Each Other. We Are Like Vinegar And Oil. I Really Don't Know How We Were Together This Long. Our Relationship To Me Was Like, A Means To An End Anyway. Don't Get Me Wrong, I'm NOT Male Bashing Or Anything. I'm Just Sick As Fuck Of People Trying To Bring Me Down. It's Bullshit. I Know I'm One Abrasive BITCH, But I'm NOT Changing For Nobody. Simple As That. I'm Cool To People Straight Like That. But, It's Time For Me To Say, "FUCK IT". But, I Miss Having A Man In My Life. Wish I Could Have A REAL MAN To Tell You The Truth. Honestly, I Can't Help But Wonder If Sometimes I'm Bringing This Unnecessary Shit On Myself. Only Cuz Of The People That I Let Hang Around Me. But, I Can't Just Not Have Anyone Around Me Cuz Then I'll Be Alone And Seem Ass Fucking Paranoid... LMAO. But, Looks Like Yagabaums, And Chocolate Blacks Are My Two Friends And Stress Relievers For Now.. We'll See What Happens Next..

Heart 2 Heart

After I Came Back From The Comedy Improv, Which Was Funny By The Way.. Later On Last Night Me And My Cousin Had A Heart To Heart Conversation About A Nigga That She's Feeling Or Whatever.. So, She Told Me That He's A Ladies Man. And Eventhough He's Good Friends With Her He Still Fucks His Ex And 4 Other Girls. She Still Wants To Be With Him As His Girl.. And I Told Her Well If She Wanted Him, She Would Have To Move In And Take Him.. Cuz She Swears That Everytime She Wants To Say Something He's Always Busy. And She Thinks That It's A Sign That He's Not Supposed To Know. Shit, That's A Lie Cuz I Told Her That If She Wants To Make Herself Known To Him And How She Feels. She Needs To Just Lay It All On The Line.. But, Talk To Him In Private Not In Front Of Them Bitches..(Any Of Them) And If You Do It Could Backfire Though. It Could Be That He Doesn't Care, Or Feel The Same Way About Her That She Feels About Him. Or Like I Told Her He Might Feel The Exact Same Way For Her And Won't Say Anything Cuz They Are Friends And He Doesn't Want To Cross That Line And Feels That She Won't Give Him The Time Of Day. And That's Why He Wants To Fuck Around With So Many Goddamn Girls Cuz He's Looking For That Real Woman To Come Into His Life. And Wouldn't It Be Funny If He Was Waiting On You? Every Real Man Needs That Real Woman To Come Into His Life To Make Him, Happy, Loved, And Wanted. But, I Told Her You Can't Change A Playa, A Dog, A Hoe, Or A Leopard's Spots Either.. So, It's Up To Her And What She Wants To Do.. If She Feels She's The One For Him Let The Mutha Fucker Know. Don't Throw Herself At Him. Just Show Him What He Needs When it Comes To Being His Woman. And That Way Out Of All Of Them He Will Be Like, "It's Something About Her", "I Don't Know What It Is", "It's Something", "And I Wanna Know What". "She's Different". All She Has To Do Is Make Herself Stand Out If She Wants To Be That, "One And Only Bitch", In His Life And Wipe Out Everybody Else And Still Remain Standing.. You Gotta Play Dirty Sometimes. Just Give Them Bitches Enough Rope To Break Their Own Fucking Neck When They True Colors Start Showing. And You Will Be Good.. Cuz, Then They Will Start Falling Off On Their Own.. And If He Doesn't See That You Are The Right Bitch For Him, Fuck Him Cuz He Will Be A Waste Of Your Time.. It's Like This, Hoes Come A Dime A Dozen.. And That Real Woman Only Comes Once In A Life Time.... Just Do What I Said, See What Happens, And Let The Chips Fall... If It Doesn't, Go Your Own Way He Wasn't Worth It To Begin With If He Can't See What's In Front Of Him. Then Move On Without Him.. See, Yall Can't Say That Shit Wasn't Straight To The Point, Huh? LMAO....

New Day

Well, Today Is a New Day And I Feel So Good Right Now. Cuz, I Had A Good Nights Sleep And I Went To Spoken Word Last Night. They Were Talking Some Deep Shit Too.. Straight Real Talk. I Saw Taalam Acey, He's Deep As Hell. Shit He Did, "Market For Niggaz". And Drama Was The Shit When He Did, "Real Man" It Was On.. But, Rock Baby Was Retarded As Hell When He Did, "Titty Man".. But Other Than That I Had A Good Time. That Was Some Grown Folks Shit There.. They Got Me Starting To Write My Poetry Again.. Lol. But, Today Is Going To Be Good Day For Me Cuz I'm Going To My Session Today At 1pm Where I Get To Speak My Mind, And Get Taught Some Lessons.. And Tonight I'm Going To The Improv So I Hope I Get To Just Laugh My Ass Off, Have Some Drinks, And Enjoy Myself Like Last Night. I Think It Starts At 8pm, Or Something Like That. And I Hope That I Get To Go The The Mavericks Game That's Coming Up I Think This Weekened Sometime. Or If Not, With My Cheap Ass I Might End Up Watching The Shit On TV, But Who Knows.. It Just Seems Like It's Going To Be A Busy Week For My Ass On Some Real Shit.. But, You Know What? About Fucking Time.. You Know. Cuz, I'm Tired As Shit Of Being Bored Off My Ass Not Enjoying Myself Like I Should Goddamn It.. Like, It's Been Said "Life Is Short" And You Better Take Advantage When It Comes To Living It...

Straight Up Cutthroat

Uh Huh, That's What I've Come To Find Out.. It Didn't Take Me Long To Solve My Problem That I Told Yall About. Finally, It Came To Light Who Was Trying To Destroy My Life With Unnecessary Bullshit And Why. It All Came To A Nasty End Over A Three Way Converstion Last Night.. And It Wasn't Good. Me, My Girl B, And N, Were Good About The Whole Situation After We Got Off The Phone. But, I Guess Not. Cuz, Everybody That Was Involved In The Cutthroat Argument Got Completely Thrown Over. Just Cuz Shit Went Went Down Between Me, A, And C Don't Get Along. B, She Cut All Of Us Off And Changed Her Number Where We Can't Call Her Anymore Cuz She's Tired Of Us Not Getting Along. But, I Really Don't Give A Fuck Cuz That's Why I Don't Keep Females Around Me As It Is Cuz They Can't Be Trusted By No Means Necessary.. I'm A Cutthroat Ass Female. Simple As That, Cuz I Scared Them Popping Up On The Phone To Confront All This Shit Anyway. I Was Straight Up On Mute, And Busted Them. I'm Grown And I Don't Have Time For The Drama. My Life Is Going To Be Drama Free This Year. I Don't Have Time For Scheming And Conniving Ass Bitches Anymore. Now, Yall Know This Is Why I Strictly Hang With Niggaz.. Dudes As Friends Only Cuz They Got My Back.. LMAO.. So, If People Don't Want To Be Around Me, That's Cool. But, I Learned My Lesson Big Time About This Here. At Least I Know Who My Real Female Friends Are And They Know Who They Are Too. It's Two Of My Best Friends, Which Their Names Start With A, And T. So, Hey Yall. Since Yall Are The Only Two People That I Can Trust On Some Real Shit... It's A Wrap For Other People That Were Around Me.. That's A Shame Too. Like, I Done Said In The Past I'll Cut You Out Of My Life If You Do Me The Wrong Way. Otherwise, I'm Good. But, I'm Even Better Now Cuz I Got Rid Of Everybody Now That Was Shady.. Lol. And Now I Can Move On With My Life As I Choose To Live It.. Drama Free..

Major Drama

Really To Be Honest With You.. I'm Tired Of People Being Straight Up Phony When It Comes To Being Cool With Me. It's To The Point Where I Have To Vent About Shit Constantly. You Feel Me. Like Alot Of People Probably Think And Wonder. Why Do People Want To Pretend To Be Nice Then Go Behind My Back And Start Major Bullshit That I Don't Need? Like, They Try To Befriend Your Ass One Minute, And Then Fuck You In The Ass Another. I'm So Sick And Tired Of This Shit It's Not Even Funny.. But, Oh Well You Learn The Hard Way Sometimes. I Feel That I Have Done Some Things To People That Rub Them The Wrong Way. Like, I'm Too Abbrasive When I Talk To People About Things. That I'm Not Soft Enough About It. I Feel Like This If You Want Someone To Baby Your Ass And Sugarcoat Shit, I'm Not The One Cuz I'm Gonna Keep It One Hundred With You. As A Matter Of Fact I'm Gonna Keep It A Thousand. I Have Strange Vibes Going Through My Mind About People And It's Crazy. I Don't Know Why People Act This Way Toward Me. But, I'm Bound To Find Out How The Fuck People Really Feel When It's All Over. And When I Do I'm Coming Out With A Vengence Cuz I Don't Like Shady Ass Mutha Fucking People That Talk Shit And Stab Me In The Back When All I've Done Is Be Nice And True To The Heart With People. But, I Guess People Can't Like People That Are Kind To Them. I Really Don't Want To Change Myself As A Person And Become A Mean Bitch, But It Just Might Happen.. Who Knows? But When I Clear Up Or Find Out What's Really Going On With The People That Are Close To Me That Swear They Are Cool With Me, Love Me, And Would Do Anything For Me... We Are Going To See About This Bullshit.. But, It's Going Down And Real Soon...