Idea Of Love

Why Is It That I Always Look At Other People's Relationships And Feel Jealous? Is It Cuz I Want The Same Thing? Or Am I Just Mad That I'm Alone? Then Again It May Be All Of The Above. Some People Say That I Love The Idea Of Being In Love That's How Come I Get Hurt So Easily. It's Just That I Love Affection, Being Under My Man, Playfully Being With Him, And Talking Seductively To Him. Letting Him Know That I Love Attention, And That He's Also The Center Of My Attention As Well. But, I Can't Understand Why Guys Don't Appreciate Those Types Of Things. I Know Yall Are Gonna Think This Is Strange. But, I Would Rather Be Under My Man, Cuddling Up With Him Than Have Sex. Don't Get Me Wrong, I Love Sex It's Just That's Not The Only Damn Thing That I Want To Do When I Get With My Man. Spending Quality Time Without Fucking Is A Good Thing. I Can't Even Find Guys That Even Love Kissing, And Holding Hands Anymore Without It Leading To The Bedroom. I Don't Understand That Shit. I Love To Be Caressed, Held, Kissed, And All That Good Shit. But, Dudes Just Don't Seem To Be Into That Shit Anymore. That's Why I Want Someone That's Gonna Come Into My Life That's Gonna Give Me Those Things. Cuz, When I Had To Close Myself Off And Change How I Was To Be With Who I Was With. I Realized It Wasn't Worth It. I Felt Like I Couldn't Be Me Around Him Anymore. And I Missed That About Myself, As A Result I Lost Myself In All Of That. Shit, One Thing I Hate About Myself Is That I Catch Feelings Really Fast. But, It's Not Like That Anymore Cuz I Got My Guard Up Major. And People Think That I'm A Complete Bitch When I Give Advice, Cuz I'm Up Front And To The Point. Shit, People Say That It's Cuz I Don't Have A Man. At Least Not Yet Though. But Trust Me, I Know That Shit Ain't Even True. I Just Don't Let Niggaz Fuck Me Anymore. I've Grown Up, And Wised Up Now. But, Anyway Why Do I Feel That Way That I Do? When I Fall In Love, Am I Truely In Love? Or Do I Just Love The Idea Of Being In Love?