Emotional

Why Is It That So Many People Become So Emotional Over Things That People Say To Them, Or About Them? To Me, I Can Understand That If You Are Sensitive To Certain Things. Yeah, You Have The Right To Be Emotional About It. But, If You Are To The Point Where You Are Emotional About Or Over Everything That People Say Or Do To You, There's A Problem. Cuz, I Used To Be The Same Fucking Way About Like Two Years Ago Or Some Type Of Bullshit Like That And I Grew The Fuck Up And Got Over That Type Way Of Feeling. Cuz, You Can't Cry About Everything Like And Overgrown Baby And Shit. Just Keeping It Real With You On That There. But, I Realized That You Need To Harden Up And Grow A Tough Ass Skin Like The Fuck I Did When It Comes To People's Shit Cuz People Will Do Shit To Try And Hurt Your Ass Just To See If You Will Break Down Or Not. And I Feel That It's Straight Up Bullshit If You Fucking Ask Me Cuz It Takes A While To Make Me Break Down. And Plus, Not Only That It Also Depends On Who The Fuck It Is That's Trying To Bullshit Me, Or Trying To Hurt Me Too. I Don't Give A Fuck Who You Are And Who You May Be. I Don't Take Bullshit, I Will Stand Up To You No Matter What Cuz I'm Not As Emotional As I Once Was. Cuz Don't Get Me Wrong About This Cuz At The End Of The Day I'm A Woman Too. And I Understand Emotions More Than Anything. But, After A While It's Just Time That You Say Cut The Fucking Bullshit, Wise Up, Get A Tougher Skin If You Have To When It Comes To Shady Fucking People And Move On With Your Life. And Don't Let People Get To You In The End...

This Is Bullshit

Yall, Right About Now I'm Mad As Hell. This Nigga (My Ex), He Knows My Son's B-Day On Saturday. My Aunt And Cousin Were Here At The House Everything Was Cool. Cuz I Told Them What We Were Doing For Him, Or So I Thought. I Call This Nigga And He Had His Nerve To Say That, "I Didn't Know You Wanted To Go". Ok, Why In The Fuck Wouldn't I Want To Go? That's My Son. He Gets On My Goddamn Fucking Nerves Doing That Shit To Me. He Said Well Yall Took Him Without Me Last Year. And I Was Like, "You Had To Work". "Shit, I Couldn't Help It That His Birthday Last Year Was On A Fucking Friday". He Got Mad About The Shit. It Pisses Me Off Cuz Just Think About It. Why Wouldn't I Want To Go When It Comes To His Birthday? That's Why I Don't Want To Be With His Sorry Ass. He Is Such A Fucking Asshole. And I Can Do So Much Better Than This, And Better Than Him. We Have Been Split For Almost A Year When June Comes And I Feel That I'm Better Off Without Him Cuz It's Just What He Does Is Too Much. And I Can't Handle It. I'm Glad That We Are No Longer Together. It's Time For Me To Completely Move On At This Point Cuz I'm Tired Of All This Shit That He Puts Me Through. And It's Not Even Fucking Worth It At All. It's Gonna Be All Good From Here On Out For Me, Cuz I'm Stronger Than What I Seem To Be And I'll Be Ok. Trust Me, I'll Make It As Long As I Have The People Most Important To Me Around...

Keeping It Real

This Is What I Feel That I Need Right Now. One Of Them Is A Real Man. To Tell You The Truth I'm Glad That I'm Where I Am In My Life Right Now Cuz I'm Doing Me. It Took Me A While To Understand What The Fuck That Meant. But, Now I Know. It's A Good Thing, Cuz Right Now I Need To Focus On Me, Get Myself Together, And Get My Head Right. I Want Someone In My Life That Doesn't Make Me Feel Controlled, Or Caged Up. That's Not Me. I Don't Want To Deal With Those Things Anymore. I Want To Be My Own Woman So I Can Express The Way That I Am. Or The Way That I Truely Feel If I Want To Without People Thinking That I'm Too Abrassive As I've Said In One Of My Last Post, Or Blog. It's Just That I'm Ready To Explore New Things, People, And Relationships Possibly.. Who Knows? I Just Want To Be Around People That Will Accept Me, And Let Me Be Me. Love Me For Me, Don't Try To Change Me. Take Me As I Am.. Cuz, I Don't Feel That I Should Watch What I Say, Or Do Around Anyone. To Me That Makes Me Feel That I'm Not Being Me, And That I Should Have To Close Myself Up Just Because People Don't Like Certain Things That I Do, Or Say. So I Just Shut Myself Down. And That's Not Fair. Um, I Feel That If I Continue Doing These Things I Will Eventually Loose Myself In The Shuffle, Or In The Long Run. So, Like I Said No More Drama In My Life For '09 I Plan To Stay Drama Free And Hopefully Continue To Be Happy With The 2 Friends, And The Family That I Have Cuz You Only Get One Family, And One Life. So, Do As I'm About To Which Is Enjoy Life And Start Living It..

It's Crazy...

Oh Wow, It's Just Weird That People See Me In So Many Ways. Some Are Good, And Some Are Bad. Which, I Expected. It's Just That When I Have Something To Say, I Say It. Just Like On The Phone Today Something That I Wanted Done Didn't Get Done Like I Wanted And I Spazed Out. Maybe That Was Also Cuz I Didn't Go To Sleep At All Last Night. I Should Had But I Didn't. I Went Out, Had Some Drinks, Came Home, Watched A Movie, And Stayed Up The Rest Of The Night. I Just Don't Know If I'm As Bad As Some People Think. In My Opinion, I'm A Very Sweet Person. And The People I Talk To Say That I'm Only That Way To Guys. And That's A Straight Up Fucking Lie Cuz I'm Nice To Females Too. But, It's Just That I've Had Some Fucked Up Ass Experiences With Women So I Don't Hang Around Them Much. But I Feel That Being Honest Is The Best Thing To Do In Certain Situations. If You Like A Person That Will Lie To You And Not Let You Know The Real Shit, And What's Really On Point Then They Asses Is Wrong. But, In A Way It's Good Too Sometimes Cuz You Can Always Truely Find Out Who Really Has Your Back And Who Don't.. Eventhough, The Old Saying Goes, "Keep Your Friends Close", "And Your Enemies Closer".. That Works For Some People, But Not Me Cuz That Shit Gets Old Too... LMAO.. But, I'm Learning Different Things As I Go So Bare With Me.. Cuz, I Have A Feeling That This Shit Is Gonna Take A While..

Men Approaching Us Women

Oh Lawd.. What's Really Going On? A Friend Of Mine Said That A Dude That Tried To Come Onto Her Approched Her By Saying, "Hey Bitch".. And I Was Like, "What?" Cuz I Mean If That Was Me And Were Calling Yourself Trying To Holla At Me You Ain't Getting No Type Of Love What So Ever.. I Don't Care How Sexy Your Ass Is Straight Up. That's Like Saying, "Excuse Me, Hoe", Or "Come Here" With A Fucked Up Ass Attitude. But, If A Dude Came Up To Me And Said That Shit It's Gonna Be On And Poppin' Like, "Chris Brown" In This Mutha Fucker Cuz I Don't Play That Shit What So Ever. But, If He Said "What's Up, Shawty?" I Would Probably Say Something To Him But It Just Depends On How He Said It Though. It's Just That Men Are So Fucking Disrespectful It Just Gets On My Fucking Goddamn Me Nerves.. I Just Feel That Men Should Come Correct To Women Period. But If You Answer To Shit That I Described Then You Must Be What They Call You Flat Out Then. I Don't Care Cuz If A Nigga Came Up To Me And Said Something To Me Like That They Would Get Straight Up Punched In The Fucking Mouth. No Questions Asked On That On Right There. LMAO. It's Just A Shame That Niggas Lines In This Day In Time Are So Fucked Up And Think That Shit Is Going To Catch A Bitch.. Niggas Need To Check Themselves On That Bullshit Cuz That Shit Might Get A Little Girl, But It Ain't Gonna Get A Woman... Think About It..

I Don't Care

Shit, At This Point People I'm Just Sick Of People And Their Shit. It's To The Point Where People Are Saying Shit And Straight Up Tearing Me Down. And I Don't Know Which Way Is Up Anymore. One Minute You Are Happy As Hell And All It Takes Is One Person To Fuck Up Your Whole Entire Fucking Day. I Was Good Up Til' Last Night. Me And My Ex Talked And Got Into It Again. That's Why I Say I Can't Be Around Him.. We Are Cool As Friends, Going Out Together From Time To Time And Shit. But, Fuck We Are Straight Up TOXIC To Each Other. We Are Like Vinegar And Oil. I Really Don't Know How We Were Together This Long. Our Relationship To Me Was Like, A Means To An End Anyway. Don't Get Me Wrong, I'm NOT Male Bashing Or Anything. I'm Just Sick As Fuck Of People Trying To Bring Me Down. It's Bullshit. I Know I'm One Abrasive BITCH, But I'm NOT Changing For Nobody. Simple As That. I'm Cool To People Straight Like That. But, It's Time For Me To Say, "FUCK IT". But, I Miss Having A Man In My Life. Wish I Could Have A REAL MAN To Tell You The Truth. Honestly, I Can't Help But Wonder If Sometimes I'm Bringing This Unnecessary Shit On Myself. Only Cuz Of The People That I Let Hang Around Me. But, I Can't Just Not Have Anyone Around Me Cuz Then I'll Be Alone And Seem Ass Fucking Paranoid... LMAO. But, Looks Like Yagabaums, And Chocolate Blacks Are My Two Friends And Stress Relievers For Now.. We'll See What Happens Next..

Heart 2 Heart

After I Came Back From The Comedy Improv, Which Was Funny By The Way.. Later On Last Night Me And My Cousin Had A Heart To Heart Conversation About A Nigga That She's Feeling Or Whatever.. So, She Told Me That He's A Ladies Man. And Eventhough He's Good Friends With Her He Still Fucks His Ex And 4 Other Girls. She Still Wants To Be With Him As His Girl.. And I Told Her Well If She Wanted Him, She Would Have To Move In And Take Him.. Cuz She Swears That Everytime She Wants To Say Something He's Always Busy. And She Thinks That It's A Sign That He's Not Supposed To Know. Shit, That's A Lie Cuz I Told Her That If She Wants To Make Herself Known To Him And How She Feels. She Needs To Just Lay It All On The Line.. But, Talk To Him In Private Not In Front Of Them Bitches..(Any Of Them) And If You Do It Could Backfire Though. It Could Be That He Doesn't Care, Or Feel The Same Way About Her That She Feels About Him. Or Like I Told Her He Might Feel The Exact Same Way For Her And Won't Say Anything Cuz They Are Friends And He Doesn't Want To Cross That Line And Feels That She Won't Give Him The Time Of Day. And That's Why He Wants To Fuck Around With So Many Goddamn Girls Cuz He's Looking For That Real Woman To Come Into His Life. And Wouldn't It Be Funny If He Was Waiting On You? Every Real Man Needs That Real Woman To Come Into His Life To Make Him, Happy, Loved, And Wanted. But, I Told Her You Can't Change A Playa, A Dog, A Hoe, Or A Leopard's Spots Either.. So, It's Up To Her And What She Wants To Do.. If She Feels She's The One For Him Let The Mutha Fucker Know. Don't Throw Herself At Him. Just Show Him What He Needs When it Comes To Being His Woman. And That Way Out Of All Of Them He Will Be Like, "It's Something About Her", "I Don't Know What It Is", "It's Something", "And I Wanna Know What". "She's Different". All She Has To Do Is Make Herself Stand Out If She Wants To Be That, "One And Only Bitch", In His Life And Wipe Out Everybody Else And Still Remain Standing.. You Gotta Play Dirty Sometimes. Just Give Them Bitches Enough Rope To Break Their Own Fucking Neck When They True Colors Start Showing. And You Will Be Good.. Cuz, Then They Will Start Falling Off On Their Own.. And If He Doesn't See That You Are The Right Bitch For Him, Fuck Him Cuz He Will Be A Waste Of Your Time.. It's Like This, Hoes Come A Dime A Dozen.. And That Real Woman Only Comes Once In A Life Time.... Just Do What I Said, See What Happens, And Let The Chips Fall... If It Doesn't, Go Your Own Way He Wasn't Worth It To Begin With If He Can't See What's In Front Of Him. Then Move On Without Him.. See, Yall Can't Say That Shit Wasn't Straight To The Point, Huh? LMAO....

New Day

Well, Today Is a New Day And I Feel So Good Right Now. Cuz, I Had A Good Nights Sleep And I Went To Spoken Word Last Night. They Were Talking Some Deep Shit Too.. Straight Real Talk. I Saw Taalam Acey, He's Deep As Hell. Shit He Did, "Market For Niggaz". And Drama Was The Shit When He Did, "Real Man" It Was On.. But, Rock Baby Was Retarded As Hell When He Did, "Titty Man".. But Other Than That I Had A Good Time. That Was Some Grown Folks Shit There.. They Got Me Starting To Write My Poetry Again.. Lol. But, Today Is Going To Be Good Day For Me Cuz I'm Going To My Session Today At 1pm Where I Get To Speak My Mind, And Get Taught Some Lessons.. And Tonight I'm Going To The Improv So I Hope I Get To Just Laugh My Ass Off, Have Some Drinks, And Enjoy Myself Like Last Night. I Think It Starts At 8pm, Or Something Like That. And I Hope That I Get To Go The The Mavericks Game That's Coming Up I Think This Weekened Sometime. Or If Not, With My Cheap Ass I Might End Up Watching The Shit On TV, But Who Knows.. It Just Seems Like It's Going To Be A Busy Week For My Ass On Some Real Shit.. But, You Know What? About Fucking Time.. You Know. Cuz, I'm Tired As Shit Of Being Bored Off My Ass Not Enjoying Myself Like I Should Goddamn It.. Like, It's Been Said "Life Is Short" And You Better Take Advantage When It Comes To Living It...

Straight Up Cutthroat

Uh Huh, That's What I've Come To Find Out.. It Didn't Take Me Long To Solve My Problem That I Told Yall About. Finally, It Came To Light Who Was Trying To Destroy My Life With Unnecessary Bullshit And Why. It All Came To A Nasty End Over A Three Way Converstion Last Night.. And It Wasn't Good. Me, My Girl B, And N, Were Good About The Whole Situation After We Got Off The Phone. But, I Guess Not. Cuz, Everybody That Was Involved In The Cutthroat Argument Got Completely Thrown Over. Just Cuz Shit Went Went Down Between Me, A, And C Don't Get Along. B, She Cut All Of Us Off And Changed Her Number Where We Can't Call Her Anymore Cuz She's Tired Of Us Not Getting Along. But, I Really Don't Give A Fuck Cuz That's Why I Don't Keep Females Around Me As It Is Cuz They Can't Be Trusted By No Means Necessary.. I'm A Cutthroat Ass Female. Simple As That, Cuz I Scared Them Popping Up On The Phone To Confront All This Shit Anyway. I Was Straight Up On Mute, And Busted Them. I'm Grown And I Don't Have Time For The Drama. My Life Is Going To Be Drama Free This Year. I Don't Have Time For Scheming And Conniving Ass Bitches Anymore. Now, Yall Know This Is Why I Strictly Hang With Niggaz.. Dudes As Friends Only Cuz They Got My Back.. LMAO.. So, If People Don't Want To Be Around Me, That's Cool. But, I Learned My Lesson Big Time About This Here. At Least I Know Who My Real Female Friends Are And They Know Who They Are Too. It's Two Of My Best Friends, Which Their Names Start With A, And T. So, Hey Yall. Since Yall Are The Only Two People That I Can Trust On Some Real Shit... It's A Wrap For Other People That Were Around Me.. That's A Shame Too. Like, I Done Said In The Past I'll Cut You Out Of My Life If You Do Me The Wrong Way. Otherwise, I'm Good. But, I'm Even Better Now Cuz I Got Rid Of Everybody Now That Was Shady.. Lol. And Now I Can Move On With My Life As I Choose To Live It.. Drama Free..

Major Drama

Really To Be Honest With You.. I'm Tired Of People Being Straight Up Phony When It Comes To Being Cool With Me. It's To The Point Where I Have To Vent About Shit Constantly. You Feel Me. Like Alot Of People Probably Think And Wonder. Why Do People Want To Pretend To Be Nice Then Go Behind My Back And Start Major Bullshit That I Don't Need? Like, They Try To Befriend Your Ass One Minute, And Then Fuck You In The Ass Another. I'm So Sick And Tired Of This Shit It's Not Even Funny.. But, Oh Well You Learn The Hard Way Sometimes. I Feel That I Have Done Some Things To People That Rub Them The Wrong Way. Like, I'm Too Abbrasive When I Talk To People About Things. That I'm Not Soft Enough About It. I Feel Like This If You Want Someone To Baby Your Ass And Sugarcoat Shit, I'm Not The One Cuz I'm Gonna Keep It One Hundred With You. As A Matter Of Fact I'm Gonna Keep It A Thousand. I Have Strange Vibes Going Through My Mind About People And It's Crazy. I Don't Know Why People Act This Way Toward Me. But, I'm Bound To Find Out How The Fuck People Really Feel When It's All Over. And When I Do I'm Coming Out With A Vengence Cuz I Don't Like Shady Ass Mutha Fucking People That Talk Shit And Stab Me In The Back When All I've Done Is Be Nice And True To The Heart With People. But, I Guess People Can't Like People That Are Kind To Them. I Really Don't Want To Change Myself As A Person And Become A Mean Bitch, But It Just Might Happen.. Who Knows? But When I Clear Up Or Find Out What's Really Going On With The People That Are Close To Me That Swear They Are Cool With Me, Love Me, And Would Do Anything For Me... We Are Going To See About This Bullshit.. But, It's Going Down And Real Soon...